i want to say i’m sorry, but i’m struggling to find the words to express exactly how much i regret all that i’ve done to you; how deeply remorseful i am for the years of neglect and bad treatment i subjected you to in the selfish pursuit of my own myopic desires. i forgot what you mean to me, what you do for me, how you’ve held me up and supported me. i lost what we had together in true partnership. you’re worth more than me. so much more.
if you were able, would you have abandoned me for someone more attentive to your needs, more appreciative of all that you do? would you have lost patience with my endless excuses and pitiful prioritisation? but you can’t. you and me, we’re stuck together and i’ve taken you for granted for far far far too long.
and so the time has come to make amends, dear body of mine. i make this promise to you… i will not fill you full of crap. i will exercise you regularly. i will strengthen you. i will put your needs first. i only hope this apology doesn’t come too late and that you will be forgiving… in the elasticity of our skin, the resilience of our joints and the strength of our heart. because, one day, i hope that we can run and dance together again.
‘worth more’ by ben eine (as it was when it was a work in progress…)